Signs from Taylor

August 15, 2017


On Taylor’s 25th birthday, my husband and I continued our tradition of bringing balloons to the cemetery along with flowers to plant around Taylor’s gravestone. I tied the balloons in a tight knot around a small hole in the box containing the sunny yellow mums we were planting. Sending happy birthday balloons to our daughter, in heaven, is a way we try to honor and celebrate the miracle of her birth. However, it is a tradition that makes me reel with sadness. My shoulders shake, my eyes glare at the shiny Mylar balloons until I can no longer see them and tears flow filling what seems like a bucket of water.

As we were planting I turned around and to my astonishment the balloons were gone. I looked to the sky but they were nowhere in sight. I couldn’t understand how this happened when I tied them so tight to the box her mums were in and put a weight attached to the bottom. I concluded that Taylor didn’t want us to experience the horror of sending her balloons to heaven rather than giving them to her alive, in person. It seemed impossible for the balloons to fly away.

Driving back home the song, we heard years back right after we lost Taylor; “Let It Be” came across the radio. All I could think was Taylor was once again telling us, “Let it Be, I did it my way and took my own balloons,” characteristic of her devilish personality. I didn’t know what to think until 2 songs later, to our shock, the song played on the radio, “Only the Good Die Young.” I cried tears of laughter knowing clearly Tales was communicating to me that it was okay that she was celebrating her young birthday of 25 years in heaven. Laughing, I thought Taylor has not lost her personality. She is as mischievous as ever.

Hold your child tight and remember they are always by your side.

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